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[2nd person pov]

It will not be the ringing of the phone that will make you anxious.

You will not suspect anything as you pick up the receiver.

The unfamiliar voice on the other end of the phone will not concern you.

You will confirm who you are and breathe in sharply as they identify themselves in turn.

It will be the words - those soft, careful, well-practised words - that will start to cause alarm.

You will hang up the phone, shaking, and worry.

It will strike you that you have no idea what to do, and you’ll pace and wander around with no purpose.

You will decide to phone your friend, tell her what has happened, and ask helplessly what to do.

She will tell you to calm down, to breathe slowly, to go to the hospital and find out more.

You will not listen; you will be unable to hear.

The thoughts and fears going through your head will be too much to cope with.

You will let out a breath as you try to comprehend the words.

She will repeat over and over until she knows that you understand.

You will breathe in and out only as you remember to.

It will be then that you hang up the phone and call a cab.

You will know that you shouldn’t drive.

The cab will arrive within minutes but it will seem like hours.

You will almost walk out the door before you remember your keys.

After getting in the cab, the driver will ask where you want to go.

You will shakily ask to go to GW hospital.

As you say the words you will remember the last time you were there, but attempt to forget.

You will move backwards and forwards, unable to sit still, silently urging the cab driver to go faster.

He will ask you questions that you will not reply to.

You will be unable to think coherently.

Instead, you will obsess, trying to remember the last words you spoke to her.

You will arrive at the hospital and practically jump out of the cab.

The money you give the driver is more than enough and you will not wait for the change.

You will run through the doors to the emergency room and locate the desk.

They will ask you who you are and whom you want to see.

You will answer and panic as they tell you to wait for the doctor.

Someone will tap you on the shoulder as you wait and you will turn round to see your friend.

You will hug her, grateful that she has come for support.

The doctor will then take you aside and explain that they did everything they could, but it wasn’t enough.

You will not understand and your friend will explain to you in quiet tones that she didn’t make it.

She will hug you and the doctor will look on in pity as you try to comprehend.

You will ask to see her, to talk to her, to ask her what is wrong.

Your friend will explain again, and finally you will understand.

You will stand there in shock, and for some reason you will only concentrate on the pattern of the floor.

The doctor will tell you that you can go and see her if you would like.

You will finally tell him that you would like to see her, and ask your friend to accompany you.

The doctor will take you to a room and wait outside as he shows you in.

You will see her lying there, and will not believe that she is gone.

Your friend will hold your hand tight but you won’t notice.

You will not cry.

Within a few minutes you will leave the room, and your friend will hug you tight.

You will not show emotion because it’s still not real.

You will wonder why you do not cry.

You will wonder why you are not as sad as you think you should be.

You will be upset because you’ve lost a friend.

You will know that you are shocked and put your reaction down to this.

As the days turn into weeks and the weeks into months you will think more about this.

You will soon forget about much of your time together.

You will think of her fondly, someone who influenced your life for a short time.

You will be glad of the time you had together and not regret it.

You will wonder why you went out with her.

You will question whether you would have been happier as friends.

You will fall in love with someone else.

A year later you went to her grave for the first time and placed flowers on the ground.

Then you went back to your girlfriend and thought about how much life had changed in just a year.

And over time she faded from your memory.

THE END

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